Failure To Launch
 

It's 'ridiculous' (pun intended) that a human thinks this way....

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-j...bfcL&ocid=iehp

Re: Failure To Launch
 

I guess I got lucky. Wife and I told my step-daughter a good year before she turned 18 that as of your 18th Birthday, we are no longer legally required to provide a room, food, cloths, water, soap, etc. She continued down the path of disrespect for our house rules, so at 18, I walked her to the front door; opened it and said, "happy birthday". She asked, "What is it?" I told her, "Freedom to do what you want. on the other side of my door". She protested, "Your kicking me out?" I said, "Yes, it's time you go make your own life". She left, stayed with her dad for a little, crashed at friends houses, then finally got her own place with her boyfriend.

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I guarantee you....that is common in about 60-70% of all households with respect to young people in the 20-25....approaching late 20's category.
You won't hear it from most parents tho', its not something most want to admit to facilitating....but the days of independent, mature and self-determining 20 year old males and females is a few decades ago now.
This is simply modern parenting culture and it is rampant.

Its not great news...but remember its not the kids fault (odd term, I guess I should be using the term adult male/man) and they shouldn't be vilified for this.
This falls fairly and squarely on poor and misled parenting choices...and not something wrong with young people.

Now...imagine your daughter considering dating or marrying this 'young' man. It's not easy to support that idea because the odds of him being a responsible partner to your daughter are clearly not very good...unfortunately.

Unfortunately, I think its going to get worse before it gets better...

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I can't believe there are people only concerned with their "legal" obligation to their children.

This guy's parents are as guilty as he. He didn't jump from a teenager to a 30 year old one day. Then to go to the courts to have family matters dealt with? Bad parents make bad children.

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WOW.....I mean WOW.....entitled and enabled comes to mind....along with bad parenting and a lazy 30yr old
and yet another argument for whats wrong with society today

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My two youngest sons live at home. They are my slaves, and know it. A wall is being built in front of my house. Both sons are shoveling dirt, mixing concrete and laying blocks under the broken dad's supervision (I have a bad back). They clean bathrooms, load and empty the dishwasher, vacuum the floors, and take the trash to the curb for pickup. :devil:

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Yep, living at home is a family thing. Look back over history and families didn't get spread out like they do now. The difference is in earning their keep or not. If one gets to 30 and still feels they are the responsibility of their parents, then a turn along the way got passed and they are lost. Got to "let' them out from under the wing. My ex-wife was an enabler like that. I saw it in my older son. He was a young man with mommy still there looming over him to pick him up if he fell. More like hands at ready to prevent a fall. I could see he resented it. Like he knew he needed to become a man and she was preventing him from it. You can say "Just stop accepting the money". But it's hard to pull back the hand when it's being filled. Especially when that is the habit... the life you know. It's not generosity or being a good mother at all. Quite the opposite. In fact, it's a selfish way of retaining power and control. First words you heard when he was doing other than she wanted was "...after I did that for you". You give out of caring, not expectations. You can't buy love and you certainly can't buy respect.

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I told my mother in law 35 years ago her son would be a worthless POS. He is now 45. He left Kalifornia to be better I guess, I'm trying to help him. The Chief in me can't be too easy on him so I keep him steppin anyway.
I'm shaking my head right now...
He's living with me... :(

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I think you have to let them know from an early age they can't stay. While he "joked" about it a lot, I'm pretty sure my dad meant it when he said "You're either going to college or getting a job, but you can't stay here."

Might have backfired on him a bit, I moved 700 miles away at 18 to Clemson, SC. I miss him a ton. We did so much together. We met up at Carlisle, PA a few weeks ago. He has my little nephews to teach stuff to now.

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His parents are complaining about the back rent, they'll be lucky if they get any font rent! Right about now he's ordering "One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer!" :lol:



j

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Wasn't there a little "lovie dovie" trade for rent a couple times in that song? :lol:

At least eventually, out the mother humpin' door he went!

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Oh ya. But my favorite line, and I used to use it on my son when he was a teenager, I would use my George Thorogood voice, and he hated it... "I don't believe you tryin' to find no job!" Classic! :lol:



j

Re: Failure To Launch
 

Launch!! and failure to launch...
Attachment 1787205

Attachment 1787206
I am very familiar with this. My 39 year old brother has no job(for the past 5 years!) and lives in one of my moms "rental" houses rent free with her paying all the bills, gas money and groceries. Its been this way his whole life. My parents divorced and she re-married and my brothers dad died in a car wreck 3 years after he was born. He was raised solely by my mom.

My girlfriend has 4 children between the ages of 19 and 28. She also was divorced when the children were young. The 28 year old 1st son lives with her rent free with no job or car and has been taking "online" classes for the past 5 years. 2nd son is 26, graduated college on time and is working in LA, living in his own apartment and driving a new car (Launched). 3rd son is just like the 1st son. Daughter is 19 and living with mom, no job, no drivers license, not going to school. Doesn't even want to drive a car. I try not to spend a whole lot of time over at their house.

One thing I can say is that I blame my mother for my brothers actions and I blame my girlfriend for her children's actions with the exception of the one that Launched. From my perspective, my mom and girlfriend have coddled them and pandered to their every need as it arises. Any need becomes an immediate priority. I just think some kids are raised wrong these days. Parents are afraid to let their kids "learn the hard way". They shelter them way to much. Some birds kick babies out of the nest when they won't fly. Then there is always "sink or swim". Its a sore subject and I never bring it up.

I remember a phone conversation I had with my dad when I was 22 years old. I was working on a big bridge project in Oregon, had finished the project and got laid off. Of course I had squandered all my money on women and partying. I was kind of confused on what to do next as I had no money and no job perspective in that area. I called to borrow some money. The conversation ended like this: "well son, you're a smart kid. You'll figure it out. Be good and stay safe. Love ya." Click... I swear I could hear him laughing after he hung up the phone.

This subject has bothered me for a long time.
__________________

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My BIL is in a similar case. He's 35, has only worked 9 months of his life, and has never lived anywhere other than at home. His mom has failing health. Wife and I have agreed he will NOT EVER sleep in our house. He asked me where he's going after mom dies. "Under the 10th street bridge, homeless shelter, I don't care. Just not with us.

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My 40ish niece still lives in her parents basement, along with her 2 kids from absentee fathers. She did have a job at one time, it was the hardest week of her life.

At 19, Dad showed up at my work one night with a duffel bag of clothes and said this will get you by until you come get the rest of your stuff. I don't blame him though, I was running wild...

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I was raised in a single parent household. I didn't leave at 18, I was still working and helping my mother pay the bills so she could raise my 5 younger sisters. I moved out and got married at 24. Should have stayed home and paid bills, it would have been cheaper.
I can't imagine being as useless as this kid, he hasn't ever even done the yard work. Claims he is trying to get custody of his son, but the last I knew, you have to be able to show that you can support a child to get custody unless they are born to your lazy @$$.

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One of THE BEST live songs ever. I like the live versions better than the studio.

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Tell him start working now and he'll figure out the rest. That's what everyone else did.

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I told my son when he turned 18 for his birthday he was getting a set of Samsonite and a ONE way plane ticket anywhere he wanted to go ! :lol:

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That 30 yr old guy clearly has a case of “separation anxiety”. I’ve seen it in dogs too. :lol:

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I've tried. It's like talking to a wall. His mom won't boot him, she feels sorry for him. Enabler. It's like petting a tick while it gives you Lyme disease

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http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/05/24...by-june-1.html

saw where the judge gave him til june 1 to get out....poor thang can't even afford boxes to move....keeps saying its not fair and outrageous......bull rubbish...somebody needs to take this ol boy out behind the woodshed...

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Study after study have recently shown that this type of assistance, over facilitation and over management leads to long term failure in the kids (young adults)....which is clearly the result in this story.
Which begs the question...why would parents be doing this consistently when this is increasingly ending poorly for their kids happiness and success, particularly later in life when they are in their 30's and 40's?
Its one thing to take on a strategy that proves to provide long term benefit or success....its quite another to take on one that is now proven to fail for those receiving the appearance of its short term, initial benefit.

I think about 80% of the people we know are still paying their adult kids cell phone bills well into their 20's let alone buying them new cars, their car insurance, their electronics, even clothing...again well into their adult 20's.

Its interesting but make no mistake, the parents are doing this largely for themselves unfortunately. It has no long term benefits for the kids and young adults.

....interesting times we live in then we all tend to wonder 'what is wrong with society',.....maybe we need some bigger mirrors, lol.:lol:

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I don't understand why parents do this to their children. It's almost a form of child abuse. We have to trust that our children are smarter than we give them credit for. Sure there are special cases etc, but why not let them at least try to become self sufficient. They may lose the battle a few times but eventually win the war. My brothers kid is 20 almost 21. He lives at home and walks around in his undies. He is on felony probation for selling drugs and his mom does not even think of wanting him to leave. WTF? My daughters have come back from time to time here and there to stay for a week or two while traveling from state to state and going to different colleges and such but never would stay any longer as they have lives they need to get back to. I actually got a bigger house so they would have a place to sleep besides the couch. Even though I have room for them, they would never think to try to "live" with me as it would he humiliating for them. They want to make me proud and they have. I love my brother and it pains me so much to see this behavior that I cannot even visit his home. He comes to see me and complains about his situation as it is mostly his wife doing all this (her son from a previous marriage) but I tell him it is also his fault for putting up with it. CRAZY! I say shut off the cable and stop buying food and turn off the water heater and everything else until they figure out that they can do it better themselves. then congratulate them on the fine job they have done. We have to make our homes a place they would like to visit but not live.

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poor thing couldn't find his legos so he called the cops.....
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/06/01...ver-legos.html