Originally Posted by magwakeenercew2jh
Judge: "You know, Young Man, that here in the Great State of Tennessee, the law considers messin' with a man's patina liken to runnin' away with his wife".
"As such, I must inform you that this offense......"
Defense Atty: "If Your Honor, Please!" "My client is a visiting Yankee that has a great deal of respect for the law. And a long-term relationship with the South...."
Judge: "Quiet, Henry!" "I knew that when your Daddy sent you away to that expensive law school up north, you'd come back...if you ever came back at all,
converted to one of those nose-in-the air Northerners"..."Yes, Henry." "With all that implies!"
Atty Henry: "But Uncle Frank, er, Judge, my client pleads ignorance and will rely on the Court's decided punishment." "However, the Defense would like to point out,
in considering the punishment, that this offense, however mortally wrong, should be considered no more than an ignorant error in judgement by my client."
"Further, the Defense would like to point out the tasteful treatment of the driver's bezel, the Hamster sticker, and other items of rust, left out of respect for the
honesty of this vehicle."
Uncle Frank Judge: "How many times do I have to tell you to sit down, Mr. Big Shot Harvard Defense Attorney?" "It is the judgement of this Court, in consideration of all things related in this case,
that an example must be made of the defendant's error, if one were to call it that." "In doing so, the Court realizes that the death penalty may be a moderate over-reaction." "Further, time in jail,
any more than the 74 days already served by the Defendant, would serve our community no benefit."
"However, the Court does, and must, rule with a firm hand." "In doing so, this Court sentences defendant Mr. Magwa Keener to three months driving a Ford F-250 diesel, dual rear wheels."
"Silver and white". "No other vehicle for the period." "Unless it is a rented Hundai Sorrento." "The Court is lenient in that regard only because there can be no expectation that a Ford F250 diesel
will make the....Oh, never mind...."
"Bailiff, see that the sentence is carried out".
"Next case!"
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