This very week I THOUGHT I had a BCM issue, I had a truck that was T-boned and it was right on the left front door post that required a new cab shell. Once I got the truck all back together[now this is NOT my first rodeo at having the complete truck stripped inside by any means] and all I had working was the directional lights on the dash and a blinking BCM. It ended being the motor to cab ground wire, I had set it on the stud and then went to answer the phone, and never got back to it .sad to say I messed up.
The BCM is vin locked and would cost me with my dealer discount $229.95 at the dealer but yes being vin locked you have to have a dealer or someone with a tech2 to program it for you.
I have also seen problems with ignition switches. Good luck I know it is driving you crazy, but your wife sounds very slow to anger and reaction, Some guys would come home to a new car sitting in the driveway
