[special-K]

Yep, living at home is a family thing. Look back over history and families didn't get spread out like they do now. The difference is in earning their keep or not. If one gets to 30 and still feels they are the responsibility of their parents, then a turn along the way got passed and they are lost. Got to "let' them out from under the wing. My ex-wife was an enabler like that. I saw it in my older son. He was a young man with mommy still there looming over him to pick him up if he fell. More like hands at ready to prevent a fall. I could see he resented it. Like he knew he needed to become a man and she was preventing him from it. You can say "Just stop accepting the money". But it's hard to pull back the hand when it's being filled. Especially when that is the habit... the life you know. It's not generosity or being a good mother at all. Quite the opposite. In fact, it's a selfish way of retaining power and control. First words you heard when he was doing other than she wanted was "...after I did that for you". You give out of caring, not expectations. You can't buy love and you certainly can't buy respect.