03-18-2020, 05:46 PM | #1476 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
In the back woods of Montana, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern... It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor. The Redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?
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03-19-2020, 11:38 AM | #1477 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small
fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor !" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize , and the blonde yells: "You stay out of this! ......I'm talking to that little **** on your lap"
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
03-19-2020, 06:50 PM | #1478 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
...
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
03-19-2020, 06:52 PM | #1479 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
,,,
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03-19-2020, 06:53 PM | #1480 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
,.,.,,
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
03-19-2020, 09:02 PM | #1481 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
.
.
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________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build |
03-19-2020, 11:02 PM | #1482 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
Somethings gotta give
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
03-19-2020, 11:05 PM | #1483 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
Hello governor?
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
03-20-2020, 10:41 AM | #1484 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
Yesterday, I wore my Korea Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, . . . enough of my psychological fixations.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?" "No," I replied. "Then why are you wearing that cap?" "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812 . . ." I thought it was a snappy retort. "The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?" God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1946," I answered as straight-faced as possible. He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?" "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun! "Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?" I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission." "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly. "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything." "Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?" With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?" The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot. And these people VOTE! What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back wearing my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place. Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap! See you guys at Walmart!!
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Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. |
03-20-2020, 11:22 AM | #1485 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
That’s funny as heck right there! We can just see that conversation.
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross Last edited by Boog; 03-20-2020 at 11:59 AM. |
03-22-2020, 11:39 AM | #1486 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
I discovered two lumps on my car battery.
I've had them tested and there was a positive result. I hope it's not terminal.
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~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
03-22-2020, 02:58 PM | #1487 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
My Neighbor asked if I had any face masks,
I said she should try Dryer Sheets.. Maybe she will give me less Static and might reduce her Wrinkles...
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03-22-2020, 03:56 PM | #1488 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
Thanks! I got a charge out of that
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Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner |
03-22-2020, 04:29 PM | #1489 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
True Story.
Ole Troy is a 75 year old retired local barber that stands about 6' 6" and was quite a basketball player in high school. He was in a restaurant up in Missouri a while back and a college basketball team came in. He knew they were having a tournament in town, so when he passed one of the boys he said "You boys in town for the basketball tournament?" The kid said condescendingly "No we are tennis players." Now Troy had been a barber for fifty years and had dealt with smartasses before. He fired right back "Yeah, tennis is OK, but it's kind of a sissies game, I prefer basketball. Yeah, Basketball is my game, I used to play for the Detroit Pistons." and walked away. The kid went to his table and the team was still trying to figure out who Troy was when he left the restaurant.
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other Larry Build thread, Arkansas K10 https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...=755797&page=5 The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. |
03-22-2020, 06:19 PM | #1490 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
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03-23-2020, 12:10 PM | #1491 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
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I started out with nothing - and I still have most of it |
03-23-2020, 12:11 PM | #1492 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
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I started out with nothing - and I still have most of it |
03-23-2020, 12:12 PM | #1493 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
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I started out with nothing - and I still have most of it |
03-23-2020, 12:16 PM | #1494 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
03-23-2020, 04:18 PM | #1495 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
Let's see what this place's capacity is for extended puns...
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~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
03-23-2020, 04:23 PM | #1496 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
and maintain continuity
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I started out with nothing - and I still have most of it |
03-23-2020, 04:38 PM | #1497 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
We’re sure to get a charge out of that.
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Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross |
03-23-2020, 06:48 PM | #1498 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
As long as they're well-grounded.
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I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson |
03-23-2020, 08:06 PM | #1499 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
Could be inducted into the hall of fame!
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~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA |
03-23-2020, 08:12 PM | #1500 |
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies
Somebody will short circuit sooner or later.
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other Larry Build thread, Arkansas K10 https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...=755797&page=5 The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. |
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