I need to vent

[Shorty Cox]

I own a vehicle that I allow my child to utilize to commute to high school. On September 26, 2018, that car was vandalized while parked at school, no doubt by a high school kid who had an issue with my child. (before you ask, no there are not security cameras)

When discovered, the incident was reported to the local law enforcement. When the Officer arrived to begin an investigation, the first words out of his mouth was “Your insurance will cover that”. The sentiment being: If insurance will pay for it, there is no foul, hence I don’t have to put much effort into locating the perpetrator.

The news of the event spread quickly through the school. The next day there was gossip/speculation among the student body as to who the perpetrator was or could be. One teacher overheard to student’s discussion and asked my child: “What happened to your car?” When my child informed that teacher of the vandalization, that teacher replied, “Insurance will pay for that”. Again. sending the message to our young people, ANYTHING YOU DO IS OK IF INSURANCE WILL PAY FOR IT. Thus, no foul.

In my day, the school officials would have gathered the possible perpetrators, grilled them and before the end of the day, the guilty party would have been identified. Furthermore, that student’s parents would be standing in the school office explaining why their child should be allowed back in school the next day.

We all did “stupid stuff” while in High School, but, telling the perpetrator that it is ok, because insurance will pay for the damage is not the message we (society) should be sending to our young. I wish the perpetrator no ill, nor do I feel it should ruin his life by labeling him as a criminal at this stage in his life. I do believe the individual, and or his guardian, should be held responsible for the cost of repair. Not me and the insurance company. Thirty-six hundred dollars as per the insurance company appraiser.

I don’t know what the issue between my child and the perpetrator is/was, but the perpetrator cost my child nothing. Anything done to my car had no impact on my child’s life.

A year from now, this will just be a “thing of the past”, I will survive, the insurance company will survive, my child will survive, and the perpetrator will survive. I just believe law enforcement and the school should work together to quickly identify the perpetrator and utilize the situation as a life lesson for all students and not blow it off because "insurance will pay for that."

Thanks for letting me vent.

[truckster]

"In my day" (1970s) I was accused of setting a fire in my school. I didn't do it, and the administration had no evidence that I had. Fortunately, I already understood due process.

I get that you're ticked off, but your "round them all up until we find the guilty party" mentality is why we have mass government surveillance of innocent citizens. If you or you son have evidence, you should bring it to the authorities. Maybe one of your son's friends has some information they're not sharing.

[65truckowner]

That is why kids these days can get away with just about anything. Too bad. Who ever it was should have to pay not the insurance. Insurance is to high anyway things like this is part of the problem. When I was in high school early 90s I know what me and my buddys would have done

[special-K]

Insurance will pay for a broken jaw too, would be my reply to that nonsense. It's about justice and owning up, and if the powers that be want to be in control of how that is served, they need to serve it.

[Grumpy old man]

In my days of high school messing with someone else's car would have led to a fight in the student smoking lounge (yes ,we had indoor and outdoor student smoking lounges) and the guy who did any damage would end up damaged himself and pay for repairs. And that would be the end of it . So I don't remember anything like that happening much .No cops ,No insurance companies, No problems . No kids with entitlement issues . Makes you wonder if we were better off back then before all this hi tech world we live in today ?

[rharris]

I had an attempted ID theft of $110,000. I caught it because one of the lending companies contacted me and after being confused I investigated. It was a loan process through Lending Tree - no fault of theirs. Anyway, I went to Police and they said, 'well they didn't get the money'. I was pissed to say the least. After being persistent and doing THEIR work, I had it located to an IP address of the device/computer that filled the application. The PD waited over 6 months, officer retired, and new officer told me nothing they could do because it was over 6 months. Very discouraging. Very glad they pull over the guy doing 62 In a 55 though - much more important. Or ruin the kids life with a drug record for getting caught with a joint. And, I love seeing them drive 75 in that 55 with no place to go. Don't get me wrong - Blue Lives Matter and not all members of the police are this way, but too many are. Every profession has it's slugs. I feel your frustration.

On the kid part - When my kids are dumb, they get punished and a discussion is had on their actions and where they could lead. My oldest got caught cheating on a spelling test when he was in 2nd grade. I asked the soccer coach to have him set out and then have a discussion with the whole team on why he set out the game. Times are changing that's for sure - im not too sure for the better.

[Dirt's72]

Sorry to hear it man. I hope it wasnt a 67-72 truck. That is a lot of damage regardless. I would think whoever did it will talk to someone and word will get out. The perp must have been jealous or mad at your son about something. I understand your frustration I had my shortbed 4x4 silverado stolen from my driveway a couple years ago. Insurance did not cover it with the liability coverage I had. My bad... someone needed it more than me in Mexico somewhere.

[special-K]

Originally Posted by rharris

I had an attempted ID theft of $110,000. I caught it because one of the lending companies contacted me and after being confused I investigated. It was a loan process through Lending Tree - no fault of theirs. Anyway, I went to Police and they said, 'well they didn't get the money'. I was pissed to say the least. After being persistent and doing THEIR work, I had it located to an IP address of the device/computer that filled the application. The PD waited over 6 months, officer retired, and new officer told me nothing they could do because it was over 6 months. Very discouraging. Very glad they pull over the guy doing 62 In a 55 though - much more important. Or ruin the kids life with a drug record for getting caught with a joint. And, I love seeing them drive 75 in that 55 with no place to go. Don't get me wrong - Blue Lives Matter and not all members of the police are this way, but too many are. Every profession has it's slugs. I feel your frustration.

I guess they're not familiar with the concept of "crime prevention". Or they are smarter than you and I and know you were the last person they'd try it on

My son got pulled over in his Ranger for the skateboard stickers on his back window, even though he made a point to keep them out of the rear view mirror line of sight. They were in the lower corners behind the head rests. And it's a truck. You can paint your back window solid black if you want to. It's only the door windows and windshield that can not be obstructed or tinted too dark. I mean, you can haul a refrigerator in a truck or have truck body other than a pickup bed that allows no rear view at all. They made vans with no back windows what so ever. Anyway, the cop said he smelled pot, he got searched, found a little, busted, and given a record. The world is a safer place now.

[davischevy]

I hate thieves and vandals. We deal with both on a regular basis on job sites nowadays and it's a PITA. The last two times the cops knew who the perp was but nothing was done.

[joedoh]

my daughter had a bike stolen from the yard, we found it in a neighbors yard taken apart and when the police showed up they interviewed the kids (who were all on primer bikes made of various parts) and said "its just mischief" and refused to write a report. I made them agree to have the kids replace the bike before I dropped it, it took a lot of cajoling to get them to do anything at all.

Originally Posted by truckster

"In my day" (1970s) I was accused of setting a fire in my school.

HA I remember the fire alarm going off at lunch period one day senior year and thought it was a drill, watched with great interest from the parking lot as the fire trucks pulled in and pulled out hoses. then on the intercom I got called to the office and chewed out about how dangerous it was and did I understand someone could have been hurt?

I told the principal I needed to know what he was talking about.

turns out the guy with the locker next to mine saw some paper sticking out of the vent in my locker on his way to the smoking area and...

once they realized I was half the school away when it happened with two dozen witnesses, they apologized. and whaddayaknow, EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL AND LIBRARY BOOK that I forgot to return in four years just happened to be in the locker at the time. they wrote them all off and I got my diploma.

[Coley]

Very interesting situation but there is no way that a school or any authority is likely to focus on finding, disciplining and holding a kid or teen responsible for anything these days....even a simple scolding, period.
Identifying and disciplining kids or teens is unfortunately a thing of the past...and you can thank modern parenting at large for that.

Kids, teens, millennials....who are those born since the self-esteem movement launched in the late 80's have been raised in such a way as they are neither trained or taught to be personally responsible for their actions.
They have been raised by a generation of parents who have put them in the center of the family as the sole focus unfortunately....rather than the parents retaining the center and its resulting strength on behalf of the family....this is new event within family structure.

You are simply looking at a minor sample of activity and result that is rampant out there....and it is common in probably over 80% of kids raised since that era.
It is not the kids or teens fault tho', so directly 'picking' on them or blaming them is misdirected...it is primarily misled parenting that has and is producing this...however you will not find a parent within a country mile or two that will confess to being part of this path and method.

I often mentor and work with young people and this over protection and over facilitation has produced a terrible narcissism epidemic in kids and young people....and the data now showing up is indicating that it is producing terrible results in this generation as they attempt and often fail into adult hood and its responsibilities at work, life, love....etc...they are often completely unprepared.
This is also the reason as to why they are still living at home at the age of 25, still living off their parents money, assistance....and clearly their parents misguided protection.
However, don't blame the kids....the parents own this misled result.

...sorry about your teens (childs?) vehicle but you will need to get used to it...that child (teen?) is as protected as most from having to answer for this and is probably in the basement enjoying the good life.

....we live in interesting times, lol.

[Shorty Cox]

Well said Coley....I could not agree more.

[Coley]

Its a very, very interesting topic and one that I, as well as others around me, are attempting to get ahead of given the way that it increasingly relates to a generation that seems to be getting lost before they get started.
Noting that it is starting to show up in the workplace with a generation who seems to have no idea that are not the center of the universe and have no more relative importance over anyone else in the building, lol.

Regardless, it is increasingly showing up early everywhere...in elementary schools as well as even now at the university and college levels and the results and indicators are not good. However, there are some solutions out there to help get these kids (teens? adults?) back on track and give them a fighting chance to succeed....but it starts with the parents changing.

For anyone who is even mildly interested in hearing some intelligent conversation around this, I invite to listen to some (or all) of what Dr. Jonathan Haidt has to say in this semi-long form discussion on the topic of 'The Coddling of the American Mind':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE5qXeb2U5c

All good
Coley

[truckster]

I teach high school now - US Government and Junior ROTC. I teach my students about choice and accountability: you can choose what you do and who you become, but you are responsible for the choices you make (or fail to make). For most of them it's a very new concept.

[cypressbog]

Originally Posted by special-K

Insurance will pay for a broken jaw too, would be my reply to that nonsense.

Exactly that!