The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network







Register or Log In To remove these advertisements.

Go Back   The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network > Welcome and Discussion > General Discussion

Web 67-72chevytrucks.com


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-26-2020, 10:56 PM   #1
special-K
Special Order

 
special-K's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mt Airy, MD
Posts: 85,755
Joke Thread

Ok, here we go again. Just jokes and replies to them please. Let's see what you've got. They don't have to be the greatest jokes, so no need to worry.
See? Not worried:

Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?", I said, "No it doesn't"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?
"Aye matey" HAR HAR HAR!!
__________________
"BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed"

GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project)
GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling)
Tim

"Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman"

R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~

Last edited by special-K; 04-27-2020 at 06:59 AM.
special-K is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2020, 11:44 PM   #2
Ol Blue K20
Proprietor of Dale's Corner
 
Ol Blue K20's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Vacaville , CA
Posts: 15,829
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by special-K View Post
Ok, here we go again. Just jokes and replies to them please. Let's see what you've got. They don't have to be the greatyest jokes, so no need to worry.
See? Not worried:

Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?", I said, "No it doesn't"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?
"Aye matey" HAR HAR HAR!!
Aw, geez......lol
__________________
"Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers"

Dale
XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004

R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck
R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man
Ol Blue K20 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 12:17 AM   #3
Liz
Catchy title goes here..
 
Liz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Rockwell, NC
Posts: 39,715
Re: Joke Thread

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!
Liz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 12:30 AM   #4
Wobpb377
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Aiea,HI
Posts: 187
Re: Joke Thread

What happened to the frogs car?

It got toad away.
Wobpb377 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 12:43 AM   #5
leddzepp
Moderator
 
leddzepp's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Cal
Posts: 19,972
Re: Joke Thread

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

My grandmother is over 80 and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?
__________________
1972 C/10 Cheyenne Super SWB. Restored, loaded, slammed.

1968 C/10 50th Anniversary LWB. Unrestored, stock, daily driver/work truck.


RIP ElJay
RIP 67ChevyRedneck
RIP Grumpy Old Man
leddzepp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 12:47 AM   #6
Liz
Catchy title goes here..
 
Liz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Rockwell, NC
Posts: 39,715
Re: Joke Thread

well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
Liz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 07:05 AM   #7
special-K
Special Order

 
special-K's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mt Airy, MD
Posts: 85,755
Re: Joke Thread

And???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the old man fall into the well?
He couldn't see that well.
__________________
"BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed"

GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project)
GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling)
Tim

"Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman"

R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~
special-K is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 07:28 AM   #8
Palf70Step
State of Confusion!

 
Palf70Step's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Gulfport, MS USA
Posts: 46,574
Re: Joke Thread

...
Attached Images
 
__________________
Bill
1970 Chevy Custom/10 LWB Fleetside
2010 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Double Cab - DD

Member of Louisiana Classic Truck Club (LCTC)

Bill's Gallery
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God!
Palf70Step is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 07:32 AM   #9
rpmerf
Registered User
 
rpmerf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Parkville, MD
Posts: 1,024
Re: Joke Thread

I had a friend that would drink brake fluid. He told me he could stop any time.
__________________
1970 C20 Custom Camper - 350, TH350
1997 GMC Suburban
1994 Acura Integra GSR
1987 Dodge Daytona Shelby Z
rpmerf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 09:58 AM   #10
67C10Step
Registered User
 
67C10Step's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Beebe, AR
Posts: 2,379
Re: Joke Thread

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.
-------------------------------------------------
Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?

He was on a roll.
--------------------------------------------------
What rock group has four guys that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore
__________________
1967 C10
1980 Jeep CJ5
2020 Toyota 4Runner
2020 Toyota CH-R
2020 Acura MDX
67C10Step is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 10:03 AM   #11
richard2717
Equal opportunity joke ofender
 
richard2717's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern Shore of MD
Posts: 9,863
Re: Joke Thread

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her one word: comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull."
__________________
Members I have met.
Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb
https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts
Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
richard2717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 10:26 AM   #12
The Rocknrod
Moderator

 
The Rocknrod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: China Spring, TX
Posts: 7,280
Re: Joke Thread

I told the only joke I knew on another thread. It didnt go over so well so . . .
The Rocknrod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 11:54 AM   #13
weq92f
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 2,843
Re: Joke Thread

.
Two ropes walk into a bar. Bartender says we don't serve your kind here so they leave.

One rope says I got an idea so he ties himself into a knot and frays one of his ends then goes back into the bar. Bartender says hey, aren't you a rope. Rope says nope, I'm a frayed knot.

-klb
__________________
67 C10 fleet fuel injected '70 402, 700r4, 3.73 posi
07 335 sport turbo 6sp
94 Trans Am GT LT1 6sp posi -- sold after 22yrs
99 540 sport V8 6sp -- sold
73 240z L24 4sp -- given to friend
68 C10 step 350/350 3.73 open -- sold
weq92f is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 11:56 AM   #14
1976gmc20
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
Re: Joke Thread

Two guys walk into a bar.

The third guy ducked.
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks:
1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD

Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner
1976gmc20 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 02:29 PM   #15
truckster
Senior Member
 
truckster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,760
Re: Joke Thread

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
__________________
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
truckster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 02:40 PM   #16
truckster
Senior Member
 
truckster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,760
Re: Joke Thread

When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
__________________
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
truckster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 02:52 PM   #17
1976gmc20
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
Re: Joke Thread

I laid awake all night wondering where the sun went.

Finally it dawned on me.
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks:
1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD

Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner
1976gmc20 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 03:01 PM   #18
truckster
Senior Member
 
truckster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,760
Re: Joke Thread

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
__________________
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
truckster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 03:14 PM   #19
FleetsidePaul
R.I.P. E.S.L.L.

 
FleetsidePaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA.
Posts: 11,406
Re: Joke Thread

Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
__________________
1971 Custom C/20

1970 CST 20

1970 C/30 Flatbed

1983 C/30 Dually

2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350.

R.I.P. El Jay

R.I.P Jessie.

R.I.P Grumpy.

Every day is a gift from God.
FleetsidePaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 03:24 PM   #20
truckster
Senior Member
 
truckster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,760
Re: Joke Thread

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
__________________
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
truckster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 04:35 PM   #21
1976gmc20
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,696
Re: Joke Thread

Three people can sit together without violating social distancing, because there is six feet between them.
__________________
Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks:
1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD

Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner
1976gmc20 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 05:30 PM   #22
Steeveedee
Who Changed This?
 
Steeveedee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Posts: 10,019
Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palf70Step View Post
...
I am SO stealing that one. I'll change it to wife, though.

Anyone ever notice that if you're trying to figure out what the ants are doing on the sidewalk, and you get real close to look with your magnifying glass, that they start to smoke?
__________________
~Steven

'70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper

Simi Valley, CA
Steeveedee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 06:46 PM   #23
xflyboy
Registered User
 
xflyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Altoona, PA
Posts: 837
Re: Joke Thread

Where do you take a peek a boo accident ??






The I.C.U.
__________________
just a paint guy working hard and driving GMC's
xflyboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 06:55 PM   #24
Liz
Catchy title goes here..
 
Liz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Rockwell, NC
Posts: 39,715
Re: Joke Thread

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?




He'll stop at nothing to avoid them
Liz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2020, 08:39 PM   #25
truckster
Senior Member
 
truckster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Orem, Utah
Posts: 7,760
Re: Joke Thread

My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
__________________
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
truckster is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Copyright 1997-2022 67-72chevytrucks.com