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Old 09-16-2019, 06:44 AM   #976
richard2717
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Old 09-16-2019, 11:08 AM   #977
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My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

❗️We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...

❗️I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

❗️ My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

❗️ I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

❗️ The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....

❗️ When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
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Old 09-16-2019, 02:43 PM   #978
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

only in california, $10/5yr 'service' fees for PTI 'record maintenance'

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Old 09-16-2019, 06:28 PM   #979
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Old 09-16-2019, 06:29 PM   #980
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Old 09-16-2019, 06:29 PM   #981
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Old 09-16-2019, 06:30 PM   #982
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Old 09-16-2019, 09:52 PM   #983
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Alpacas ain't so nice either

It doesn't help that only crazy people own them.
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Old 09-16-2019, 10:11 PM   #984
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

My dad used the term "rurnt". He also used a paint brash.
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Old 09-16-2019, 10:46 PM   #985
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Old 09-17-2019, 06:32 AM   #986
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Old 09-17-2019, 06:33 AM   #987
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Old 09-17-2019, 06:35 AM   #988
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Old 09-17-2019, 06:36 AM   #989
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Old 09-17-2019, 06:37 AM   #990
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Old 09-17-2019, 06:37 AM   #991
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Old 09-17-2019, 06:38 AM   #992
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Old 09-17-2019, 08:15 AM   #993
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Quote:
Originally Posted by davischevy View Post
My dad used the term "rurnt". He also used a paint brash.
My dad would put "tars" on the car but "tire" on the roadway.

(SE Missouri)

I remember when my oldest son asked me "Dad - why does Papaw say 'thank ya'?"

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Old 09-17-2019, 08:34 AM   #994
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My junior year of high school we had a new shop teacher who just moved down from Boston. Came in one morning to him frantically searching for something so offered to help him look. I asked him what he was looking for and he said he misplaced his Khaki's. I am searching all over the place looking for a pair of pants when he hollared he had found them. I never would have since he was talking about his Car keys.
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Old 09-17-2019, 01:50 PM   #995
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Funny funny ya'll. And people make fun of how us southerners talk.
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Old 09-17-2019, 02:24 PM   #996
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Richard......you may have to explain to the youngns....what a ( shop teacher ) was?
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Old 09-18-2019, 06:31 AM   #997
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Richard......you may have to explain to the youngns....what a ( shop teacher ) was?
Don't they have shop in school anymore? I know they did when my son graduated back around 2011. I had heard rumors they were getting rid of it.
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Old 09-18-2019, 06:32 AM   #998
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Old 09-18-2019, 06:33 AM   #999
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Old 09-18-2019, 06:34 AM   #1000
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