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Old 07-06-2019, 06:43 AM   #76
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Old 07-06-2019, 06:44 AM   #77
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Old 07-06-2019, 06:45 AM   #78
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Old 07-06-2019, 06:46 AM   #79
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Old 07-06-2019, 06:47 AM   #80
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Old 07-07-2019, 01:10 PM   #81
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defence attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:57 PM   #82
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Old 07-07-2019, 06:45 PM   #83
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies



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Old 07-07-2019, 06:48 PM   #84
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Do you know the difference between in laws and outlaws?
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Old 07-07-2019, 06:49 PM   #85
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Outlaws are wanted
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Old 07-07-2019, 07:27 PM   #86
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Husband was asked by his wife "Does this dress make my butt look big?..He replied "not really , Your butt is doing fine by itself." He's due to get out of Intensive Care on Tuesday.
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Old 07-07-2019, 07:38 PM   #87
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Guy comes home from work all excited and tells her---
Pack your clothes,I won the lottery!
She's all excited and says---
That's wonderful-Where we going?
He says---
We ain't,you are---Get out!

From the grandson---
If you're out with your honey and your nose gets runny,don't think it's funny cause it'snot!

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Old 07-07-2019, 07:52 PM   #88
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Post #62 lives on!
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Old 07-07-2019, 09:40 PM   #89
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Mmmm, Nice set of... What the? Holy crap! YUK!!!
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Old 07-08-2019, 06:48 AM   #90
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Old 07-08-2019, 06:49 AM   #91
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Old 07-08-2019, 06:50 AM   #92
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Old 07-08-2019, 06:51 AM   #93
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Old 07-08-2019, 07:45 AM   #94
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

I don't save much of this stuff, but I've had this one for a while
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Old 07-08-2019, 06:45 PM   #95
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:41 AM   #96
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^^^ I give that a 10+!

Hey Richard, I just want to say, you are doing a mighty fine job of keeping up with yourself

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I read right through it and I'm dyslexic. I read it faster than I usually can.
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:52 AM   #97
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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^^^ I give that a 10+!

Hey Richard, I just want to say, you are doing a mighty fine job of keeping up with yourself
Apparently he missed the white flag

Although I have to say, I have been enjoying this thread a ton. Dunno bout my granddaughter though. Ive been saving these right and left using my cell phone and forwarding them on to her via text, I think she probably wishes she had a white flag too haha!
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Old 07-09-2019, 07:29 AM   #98
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Post #62 lives on!
Crap. I missed that.
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:26 PM   #99
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Apparently he missed the white flag

Although I have to say, I have been enjoying this thread a ton. Dunno bout my granddaughter though. Ive been saving these right and left using my cell phone and forwarding them on to her via text, I think she probably wishes she had a white flag too haha!
I saw the flag I just enjoy the mimes quite a bit and hope it cheers up others as well. Some days it seems the only reason to smile with all the crazy stuff going on around us. I am back feeling a bit better now and have to catch up on some work so I will try to tone in down to 20 or less a day
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Old 07-10-2019, 09:13 AM   #100
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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I saw the flag I just enjoy the mimes quite a bit and hope it cheers up others as well. Some days it seems the only reason to smile with all the crazy stuff going on around us. I am back feeling a bit better now and have to catch up on some work so I will try to tone in down to 20 or less a day
Don't slow down to much. I'm loving it.
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