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Old 03-03-2021, 10:30 AM   #451
Ol Blue K20
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
acc
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air
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Old 03-03-2021, 09:02 PM   #452
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 03-04-2021, 01:42 AM   #453
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Re: Joke Thread

VooDo Doll
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Old 03-05-2021, 09:14 AM   #454
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Re: Joke Thread

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VooDo Doll
Finally one my wife laughed at.
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Old 03-06-2021, 07:51 PM   #455
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Re: Joke Thread

VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance >
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street
Operator : Can you spell that for me ?

Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back ..
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Old 03-06-2021, 09:18 PM   #456
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Re: Joke Thread

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VooDoo Doll was a good one,, not telling my wife.lol

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man : A guy just got hit by a car ,I need an ambulance >
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street
Operator : Can you spell that for me ?

Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man : I will drag him over to a pine tree and call right back ..
This really happened, back when we had our old brick cellphone that would actually work up on top of the ridges. I called the non-emergency dispatch number to report what looked like smoke on a big fire from a few days back.

The 911 operator asked me what was my address. I said "I'm on horseback up in the middle of <redacted> ranch."

So she paged out the FD saying that a caller reported seeing smoke from "Horseback Road."


(it was actually just a plume of ash from a dust devil, but we were all still pretty nervous after losing 70+ homes)
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Old 03-06-2021, 09:22 PM   #457
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Re: Joke Thread

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This really happened, back when we had our old brick cellphone that would actually work up on top of the ridges. I called the non-emergency dispatch number to report what looked like smoke on a big fire from a few days back.

The 911 operator asked me what was my address. I said "I'm on horseback up in the middle of <redacted> ranch."

So she paged out the FD saying that a caller reported seeing smoke from "Horseback Road."


(it was actually just a plume of ash from a dust devil, but we were all still pretty nervous after losing 70+ homes)
Yeah ,,it's funny as a joke ,,but for real is not what you would like to hear from a Emergency Operator
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Old 03-06-2021, 10:52 PM   #458
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Re: Joke Thread

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Yeah ,,it's funny as a joke ,,but for real is not what you would like to hear from a Emergency Operator
Our county dispatch/911 deserves its own joke thread!
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Old 03-07-2021, 01:47 PM   #459
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 03-07-2021, 03:19 PM   #460
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 03-08-2021, 08:34 AM   #461
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 03-08-2021, 09:18 AM   #462
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 03-09-2021, 01:39 PM   #463
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Re: Joke Thread

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary."
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Old 03-10-2021, 10:48 AM   #464
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Re: Joke Thread

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer.
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Old 03-10-2021, 11:12 AM   #465
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by 71CHEVYSHORTBED402 View Post
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art dealer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she believes will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ..... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied, enthusiastically, "Holy Cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary."
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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer.
Very Funny guys.....
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Old 03-10-2021, 04:42 PM   #466
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Re: Joke Thread

If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me.

Izzy Bizzy was a blob.

Izzy Bizzy had no job.

Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he?
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Old 03-10-2021, 05:23 PM   #467
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Re: Joke Thread

This is one my grandma used to say:

Oowey gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
He climbed upon a railroad track
A train he did not see

Oowey gooey!
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Old 03-10-2021, 08:50 PM   #468
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by 68bowtie View Post
If you remember Fuzzy Wuzzy, the un-fuzzy bear... I made this version up while walking through Costco one day. My wife still makes fun of me.

Izzy Bizzy was a blob.

Izzy Bizzy had no job.

Izzy Bizzy isn’t busy, is he?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976gmc20 View Post
This is one my grandma used to say:

Oowey gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
He climbed upon a railroad track
A train he did not see

Oowey gooey!
You guys need to meet my buddy...Jack Daniels...he makes this weirdness go away... OK....back to my corner!.....
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Old 03-10-2021, 09:16 PM   #469
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Re: Joke Thread

Lol
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Old 03-10-2021, 09:40 PM   #470
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Re: Joke Thread

-
OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one....

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.
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Old 03-10-2021, 10:17 PM   #471
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Re: Joke Thread

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You guys need to meet my buddy...Jack Daniels...he makes this weirdness go away... OK....back to my corner!.....
Clan McGregor



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?
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Old 03-10-2021, 10:27 PM   #472
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Re: Joke Thread

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Clan McGregor



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?
Hmmm,....this sounds like a trick question.
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Old 03-10-2021, 10:49 PM   #473
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by 1976gmc20 View Post
Clan McGregor



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?
Yes.
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Old 03-11-2021, 12:23 AM   #474
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Re: Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by LockDoc View Post
-
OK, since we are getting into weird nursery rhymes. How many remember this one....

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.
I sure do remember that one! Can't say why, but I think of it now & then to this day......
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Old 03-11-2021, 12:24 AM   #475
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Re: Joke Thread

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Clan McGregor



Railroad crossing, watch out for the cars!

Can you spell that without any R's ?
Another yes.
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