Re: Joke Thread
 

...

Re: Joke Thread
 

While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat".

I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken".

Re: Joke Thread
 

Richard
My Friend
You have (In my mind) reached the Top.:metal:
This Sums it all up in a Nut-Shell:ito:










.

Re: Joke Thread
 

Reminds me of the story about the wealthy guy who's wife's credit card was stolen. When the bank card company called him to let him know about it, he said that he already knew. They asked why he hadn't reported it, and he told them that they didn't spend money as fast as his wife did, so he was money ahead. I wish I had that kind of money!:lol:

Re: Joke Thread
 

This reminds me of the wife who was sharing with a friend that she’s responsible for her husband being a millionaire. “What was he before you came along?” she asked, the wife replied “a billionaire”.

Re: Joke Thread
 

:lol::lol::lol:

Re: Joke Thread
 

Oh that's good.

Re: Joke Thread
 

That reminds me that it is possible to make a small fortune racing.

How? Start with a large fortune.

K

Re: Joke Thread
 

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooooooooooong…..

jacket.

K

Re: Joke Thread
 

...

Re: Joke Thread
 

...

Re: Joke Thread
 

...

Re: Joke Thread
 

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over,

“Step out of the car,” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.”

“I can’t”, the man says “I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.”

“Can’t do that either,” Jim replies, “I am a haemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.”

“Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.”

“Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.”

“Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.”

“Can’t do that either” responds Jim.

“Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop.

“Well, because I’m drunk! I could go to jail!”

Re: Joke Thread
 

NAKED CHICKS WITH GUNS!

https://i.imgur.com/YH0fk9T.jpg

Re: Joke Thread
 

Re: Joke Thread
 

...

Re: Joke Thread
 

That's no joke! ;)

Re: Joke Thread
 

Actually it's kinda scary! :jdp:

Re: Joke Thread
 

Your right. I should have started a new thread. The no joke thread

Re: Joke Thread
 

A group of Hawaiian Dancers visited last night.

Turns out I was only hulacinating.

Re: Joke Thread
 

My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks...


Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself call me, I will.


Turning vegan would be a big missed steak.


Can't get up to vote? You may have electile dysfunction.

Re: Joke Thread
 

After a year of 2020, now 2020 Won!

I guess everyone can have a bad decade now and then ...

Re: Joke Thread
 

Remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Runnnnnnn!

Re: Joke Thread
 

Love it!!:lol::lol::lol:

Re: Joke Thread
 

Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.