Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 9019514)

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway. I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study. So I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my cheques. But first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye…

They need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
Then I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote. But I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
-The car isn’t washed
-The bills aren’t paid
-There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
-The flowers don’t have enough water
-There is still only 1 check in my cheque book
-I can’t find the remote
-I can’t find my glasses
-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Originally Posted by 68bowtie (Post 9020747)

Yeah my grandma totally did that. Not cool.

Originally Posted by Sheepdip (Post 9020755)

Had some old family friends, both long gone now, she would put the butter dish down for the cat to lick then put it back on the table!

Needless to say, we always ate before we went to visit them. Gross stuff there.

Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 9021064)

Mule Trading
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Pearl River , LA. and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux replied, “Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Boudreaux said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Thibodeaux said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Boudreaux & Thibodeaux at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Leroy said,
"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."
The farmer said, “My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"
Boudreaux said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux now work for the government.
They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.

Originally Posted by richard2717 (Post 9021065)

post

Originally Posted by Palf70Step (Post 9021140)

:metal:

Originally Posted by Palf70Step (Post 9021140)

:metal:

Originally Posted by davischevy (Post 9018283)

I go in Tuesday.

Originally Posted by LT7A (Post 9021694)

I hope everything went okay yesterday. If this was a F@rd site you could tell us about your Probe...

Originally Posted by 71CHEVYSHORTBED402 (Post 9023225)

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl. He paid $11,500 each with box seats. It comes with a ride to the Super Bowl, lunch, dinner and a $400.00 bar tab, and backstage passes to the winners locker room. When he bought the tickets he didn’t realize it would fall on the same day as his wedding. So if you are interested, he's looking for someone to take his spot at St. Sebastian’s at 3pm. Her name is Ashley. She’s 5’4”, 115 lbs and a real good cook. She'll be wearing the white dress.