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That made me smile. I don't need any shots... haha But I'll take them anyhow

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That almost makes enough sense that I could see someone trying it. :lol:

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What?

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The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her partner) presumably did it as a joke.
Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.
The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!
The query:
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck!

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That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read :metal:

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four

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:lol::lol::lol:

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How 'bout it?

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An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley rider for traveling faster than the posted speed limit:
He asks the old biker his name.
“Fred.” He replies.
“Fred what?” The officer asks.
“Just Fred.” The old man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the old biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
The officer then presses him for the last name.
The old man tells him that he used to have a last name, but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’
The old biker replies.
“It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, and residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.

After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! I got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. I got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing

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^ That happened to me. I swore I'd never beat my kids, and I didn't. They're all fine upstanding citizens, anyway.

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:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

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I see some people now a days and Think About This Very Thing.;)

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2hot

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My mom would wack me with whatever she had in her hand and my 1st and 2nd grade teachers had permission from my mom to spank me in front of the class and that was pretty much monthly ,3rd grade was the corner all day, now there was 4 of us boys and my dad was in viet cong i think for 6 or 8 yrs at a desk

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:lol: :lol:

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Damn shock bolts! :lol::lol:

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That reminds me of my 2nd grade teacher. Apparently I was distracting the class enough she made me sit under her desk for the remainder of that class. I couldn't see anybody. Maybe the corners were already full? Mrs Lee she was.

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"which breaker is it on"? :lol::lol:

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Hmmmmm.....:uhmk:

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Breaker pipes? It'll be fine..

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Those may burn up your breaker finder. :rolleyes::haha:

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The darkened areas in the upper part of that panel make sense.... so does the crispy blistered wiring. :dohh:

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I hate to be too technical, but those are actually fuse pipes. I hear they never need to be replaced... even after the house burns down.

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MONSTER MOWERS!!! Crushing outdoor appliances everywherrrrrrrrre!!!!!!

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oh my!!!

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My 2002 Dixie Chopper zero turn had a really nice scrape mark on the front panel from a fire hydrant in our back yard. It was my 1st time on a zero turn, and I was sick. I can laugh now about it, but I can sorta relate.

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I want nothing to do with this one!

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winner!

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Oops! :lol::lol:

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Meh, extra coat of wax...

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So true! We had our master bathroom tiled. The installer put a shelf in the wall on the side of the shower, between the studs. The helper shot the backing paper with chicken wire down with a stapler; they went through the drywall into the hallway. :lol: Looked like that boat, and I'm sure glad nobody was leaning on the wall!

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or not thinking at all

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good one

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Tip of the day

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There's that

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:haha:

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:lol:

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A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.
He says:

- I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I'll pay later.

The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says:

- I need 50 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

He gets them, and drives away with them. Soon, he comes back in a brand-new truck and new clothes and says:

- I need 100 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

He gets them and takes them away. Soon, he comes back in a huge customized truck and designer clothes and says:

- I need 200 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

The store clerk asks him:

- What's the deal with these pictures? How come you were recently poor, but now you're driving a truck worth more than my house?

The man replies:

- I opened a shooting range.

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:lol::lol::lol:

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:agree: