Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

My dad used to tell me...

"If you are going to do something half assed, don't do it."

I tell myself that every time I take on a new project.

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

"y'all sound like a broken record. Sayin' all the same things"



;)

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

My dad,

"Always do your best whether it matters or not. Then when it matters, your covered."

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Slower than molasses.

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Slower than a seven year itch.

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Aim high and you'll never come up short on your target

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

“ if it broke, bent, pissed on, or ****ed up, it aint mine”

Me to my employees.... “ you ain’t late until you get here after I do “

“ if I was any better, they’d have to split me in two”

“Sorry I’m late, I had a hard time driving this morning. I was so happy coming to work, I had to sit on both hands to keep from waving at everyone”

Me to my ex-wife “her boobs keep staring at my eyes and it’s aggravating the **** outta me!”

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Oh and my late Ex-father in law used to say.... “ I wished I had it and you had one just a little better!”

And

“ hey, you asked me if you could marry her, not the other way around!”

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

I always heard it as "slower than molasses in January"

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Your about as handy as a barbed wire condom
Your about as handy as a pocket on your underwear.

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Somebody has to clean the fish..

Lets do something..even if it's wrong.

My Grandfather would ask me what i was doing..I would say nothing..He would say "well how do you know when your done"

She/he's so ugly that it looks like her face was on fire and they died it out with an ice pick.

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Remember ole Jerry Clower?

She was sooo ugly, if Moses would have known her, they would have been an 11th commandment!

Soooo ugly, she’d make a train take a dirt road

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

"Butterface" - Everything about her is beautiful...

"Slicker than bird s#@t on a frosty tree limb" - This one came from my old boss, Richard who had two brothers named Thomas and Harold -- Tom, Dick and Harry. I kid you not.

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Better late than pregnant ! :smoke:

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Ugly as three miles of rutted road.

Hotter than a $3 pistol.

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Hotter than the hinges of hell :devil:

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If you were any slower you'd be in reverse

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

"one can short of a six pack" was dads nice way of saying somebody was stupid or crazy.

I had a friend he absolutely despised, he was refereed to as "Waste of Sperm".

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Dont fake the funk-Drill Sergeant

Where you are is where you are at- My Doctor

I am going to rip your ears off and shove them up your but so you can hear me kicking your a... - Uncle

God loves you everyone else thinks your an a..hole- favorite bumper sticker

You stupid....BLEEPER, mother.....BLEEPER, you piece of BLEEP, son of a BLEEPER-
My Dad he used this a lot in the garage. I find myself using this while working on vehicles as well.........seems to help

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

As a form of birth control,

"Stick it in double and let the snotty end hang out"

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

Poop in one hand
Wish in the other
Squeeze both and see which one comes 'troo

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

I always heard that one as "see which one fills up first"

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

:D That works, too!

Re: Old sayings or sayings from old folks
 

I had a boss that would say: You don't have to be crazy to work here ...But ...It helps.