Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

hit me with your best Chuck Norris joke, bonus points if it's car or truck related

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?' he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Chuck Norris was in a cage with a tiger and the tigers trainer.
Chuck bent down and was petting the tiger and the tiger snarled , the trainer said get up and slowly back out of the cage.
So the tiger got up and slowly backed out of the cage.

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

"Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet"

"Chuck Norris got bitten by a Rattlesnake . After a week of excruitiating pain, the snake died"

"Death once had a (near Chuck Norris experience"

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

made coffee shoot out of my nose this morning!

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

All very rich! :lol: Tie's his shoes? :haha: I hope I can stop these giggles :lol:

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

one of my faves:

When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord then drove his mom home!

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Pulled these from an ancient Chuck Norris thread here on the board ....

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

chuck norris dosnt sleep .. he waits....

chuck norris dosent read, he just stares at a book and gets the infomation he needs..

behind chuck norris`s beard theres just another fist.

chuck norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

chuck norris thought brokeback mountian was about the pile of dead bodies outside his house.

Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter.

Chuck Norris is so smart that Stephen Hawking stood up to bow down to him

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

how can all those be so good !!! thank you ha ha

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret...

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

well that didn't take long

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Haha

Did you know that the Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris knives?

; )

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Now you're just showing off! more please

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Hahaha, you're way ahead on truck/car ones. I've been a Chuck Norris fan since even before the Ramcharger days.

I heard Chuck Norris speaks braille... fluently.

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

the boogeyman checks under his bed for chuck norris

when chuck norris was born he slapped the doctor

chuck norris claps with one hand

chuck norris makes onions cry

the boogeyman has nightmares about chuck norris

superman wears a chuck norris watch

the flu gets a chuck norris shot

chuck norris can play the minute waltz in 30 seconds

chuck norris beat the sun in a staring contest

chuck norrris can ride a wheelie on a unicycle

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Chuck Norris goes to McDs, orders a Whopper, and gets it!

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerkey

Chuck Norris can gargle with chunky peanut butter

Chuck Norris can round house kick himself in the head

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Must Not Read This While Drinking Coffee! I caffeinated my nose.

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

"When Chuck Norris' parents had nightmares, they came to his room"

"Chuck Norris' belly button doubles as a power outlet"

"Chuck Norris can drown a fish"

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

A snake bit Chuck Norris. After three days the snake died.
Edit: repeat of post # 4. I’m workin on my attention to details.:lol:

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Chuck Norris doesn't mind, the snake still died.

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

"Chuck Norris once punched a cyclops right between the eyes"

"Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone"

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

The way I heard it is that Chuck Norris stared at the sun once and the sun went blind.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin’ about.
Chuck Norris and Superman once agreed to fight. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside his pants.

Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
 

I hear fire escapes were made so fire can escape chuck norris.