[richard2717]

A fellow went hunting in the Northern Minnesota woods. He leaned his shotgun against the corner of a fence to take a leak. As luck would have it, his dog knocked the gun over, it discharged and Lyle took an ounce of bird shot in the groin.
Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his doctor, Sven.
" 'Vell Lyle, I got some good noos and some bad noos. Da' good noos is dat you're going to be OK. Da' damage vas local to your groin, 'dere was very little internal damage, and I 'vas able to remove all of da' buckshot.
"What's the bad news?", asks Lyle.
" 'Da bad noos is 'dat 'dere 'vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your tool. I'm gonna' have to refer you to my sister, Lena.
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon or what?"
"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da' Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obama-care, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."