That is sad about your brother also not being 'allowed'. I come from a big family, so what held me back was not being able to afford a set. I never even asked because I felt if my parents got me a set then my siblings should also be given something of equal value. They did buy me a blue sparkle Ludwig snare. The first set I sat behind was when I was in the HS band. They had a set for playing Dixieland jazz. Our concerts included a segment of that. The band teacher despised rock & roll, but often, for whatever reason, he would come into class late. Me and a couple guys on horns would jump into playing soul music. Got in trouble every time when he'd walk in on us
. I also would play on sets my friends, or my older sister's boyfriends. My parents encouraged us all to play music.
By the time my brother started wanting to play, my folks had moved back up to the mountain town my mom came from. He was in the HS band and he had a set of drum pads set up. I never thought to do that. He made drawings of monster drum sets he hung in his room, I could see he really had the desire, and knew it wasn't likely my folks could be able to buy him a set. I was raising a family, running a business, and didn't see me playing in any bands. So, the next time I went up I brought my set to give to him. He took it from there. That was in the mid-80s and drumming has been his only profession.
This gal sounds more experienced than I know she is. She has many riffs and always on time. I never had an instructor, maybe she has a really good one, or maybe teaching techniques have improved. What I notice is her drumming is slowed down a bit. That never occurred to me when I was learning. I think that is the key. Maybe I'm the only one it never occurred to, but I learned by trying to sound exactly like the records. It could have been discouraging enough to make me quit, if I hadn't wanted it so bad.