Public Nuisance

[FleetsidePaul]

I'm a public nuisance. I just got a letter from the county saying so. So it must be true.

You may wonder how I achieved this John Dillinger status, well wonder no more because I'll tell you. Brace yourself.

I put a floodlight on the side of my house.

My angry mental patient neighbor complained to code enforcement about the light even though it doesn't shine past my property line. I made sure of that because I knew he would start trouble and I wasn't wrong.

I don't know what this guys problem is. He just seems to hate me and I've never said a word to him. I don't even know his name. He's yelled at every contractor that has ever come in my yard but he'll never speak to me at all. I've called him out and he won't come out if his house. He just comes out and yells from a distance and runs back inside like a Cuckoo clock. He doesn't even have the guts to face me.

So I wrote a nice letter to code enforcement telling them that my light was in compliance and to come inspect it anytime that they wanted. That should be that. Hopefully I'll get off the America's most wanted list.

Now I just have to find my boombox and turn up the volume all the way and just leave it blasting 24 hours a day in my barn which is next to his house. The light shouldn't bother him then.