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Old 12-20-2023, 04:23 PM   #1901
richard2717
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Re: Joke Thread

Amish Christmas lights

.
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Old 12-20-2023, 05:21 PM   #1902
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 12-20-2023, 07:06 PM   #1903
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Re: Joke Thread

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Amish Christmas lights
X2!
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Old 12-20-2023, 09:41 PM   #1904
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Re: Joke Thread

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Amish Christmas lights

.
Those are the ones I have.

The Label was Missing.

Now I Know what they are.
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Old 12-21-2023, 10:50 AM   #1905
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Re: Joke Thread

That Bologna cake made me throw up in my mouth.
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Old 12-22-2023, 06:03 PM   #1906
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Old 12-22-2023, 06:28 PM   #1907
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LOL!!! That is Priceless!
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Old 12-22-2023, 11:15 PM   #1908
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Re: Joke Thread

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...
Hope this does not offend anyone.

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Old 12-23-2023, 12:50 AM   #1909
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Re: Joke Thread

In the millright industry one thousandth of an inch is called a “mil”, apparently because milli means one thousandth, but I thought that was the metric system… They also call it a “thou” meaning thousandths. Oy…
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Old 12-23-2023, 11:53 AM   #1910
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Re: Joke Thread

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In the millright industry one thousandth of an inch is called a “mil”, apparently because milli means one thousandth, but I thought that was the metric system… They also call it a “thou” meaning thousandths. Oy…
In the artillery a mil is 1/6400 of a circle. It's much more precise than using degrees.
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Old 12-24-2023, 10:15 AM   #1911
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 12-24-2023, 11:14 AM   #1912
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Old 12-24-2023, 07:51 PM   #1913
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 12-24-2023, 10:08 PM   #1914
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Re: Joke Thread

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...
Truck life...
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Old 12-25-2023, 10:36 PM   #1915
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Re: Joke Thread

Get outta here
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Old 12-28-2023, 11:01 AM   #1916
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Re: Joke Thread

You guys are cracking me up!
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Old 12-30-2023, 12:51 PM   #1917
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Re: Joke Thread

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
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Old 12-30-2023, 12:51 PM   #1918
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Re: Joke Thread

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 12-30-2023, 12:52 PM   #1919
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Re: Joke Thread

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 12-30-2023, 12:52 PM   #1920
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Re: Joke Thread

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 12-30-2023, 01:30 PM   #1921
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 12-30-2023, 06:00 PM   #1922
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Re: Joke Thread

Four jokes in two minutes! Nice to see you back in form, Richard!
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Old 12-30-2023, 06:24 PM   #1923
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Four jokes in two minutes! Nice to see you back in form, Richard!
Lost my dad Tuesday morning so been looking for ways to smile and thought I would share some more. Had to stop before I got in trouble again
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 12-30-2023, 06:50 PM   #1924
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Re: Joke Thread

I'm not sure how to respond. If serious, I'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 12-30-2023, 06:55 PM   #1925
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Re: Joke Thread

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I'm not sure how to respond. If serious, I'm sorry for your loss.
Thanks Boog. He would have turned 89 in a couple months but had been having health issues for some time. Still does not make it easier when it happens. Been helping mom out with things all week so not been on much.
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