Old sayings or sayings from old folks

[67 twins]

Chrome don't get you home

[KW5413]

Aspirin is the best birth control for women: Take one pill and hold it between their knees. (My poor 'ol Grandpappy used to sat that)

Don't aim to maim.

If you keep stickin' your head in ground your butt is swingin' in the breeze.

He's lower than a snake's belly.

You'd better not ever start a fight but, you damned sure better finish one if it comes around to you. (My poor 'ol Grandpappy, again)

No sense in doing today what you can put off tomorrow. (Sarcastically said)

The Tax Man never sleeps.

That boy was beat with an ugly stick.

It was like herding cats.

Not my first rodeo

Fortune favors the brave

Hurry up! You're burning daylight

[gerryeric]

Originally Posted by kingsolver72

“If you ain’t cheatin you ain’t tryin”
Richard Petty

"If you get caught, deny everything, admit to nothing, and make counter accusations"

[special-K]

Originally Posted by gerryeric

"If you get caught, deny everything, admit to nothing, and make counter accusations"

I'm afraid too many people took that one to heart. Like many of the sayings offered here, not exactly an old saying or from old folks. Their sayings were ones like:

- Do the right thing

- My word is my bond

[61_FL_Apache]

Do it right, do it light.
Do it wrong, do it long.

[special-K]

It's better to bend like a willow than break like a mighty oak

[LONGHAIR]

Originally Posted by special-K

Good ones, 72supr

He who smelt it dealt it

You don't miss your water till your well runs dry

Let a sleeping dog lie

A stitch in time saves nine

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

People in glass houses, should dress in the basement

Originally Posted by gerryeric

"If you get caught, deny everything, admit to nothing, and make counter accusations"

If no one saw it, it never happened.

Originally Posted by 61_FL_Apache

Do it right, do it light.
Do it wrong, do it long.

There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over

[FirstOwner69]

Originally Posted by LONGHAIR

If no one saw it, it never happened.

I can relate better to the version of this on my T-shirt.

[GOPAPA]

I knew an older lady many years ago from Scotland Arkansas that would say ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Well, Thunderation" !

[special-K]

Originally Posted by GOPAPA

I knew an older lady many years ago from Scotland Arkansas that would say ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Well, Thunderation" !

Hey! Watch your language!!

[LockDoc]

-
I haven't followed this too close but I will post a couple of my grandpa's favorites.

On skinny women:

"She's so skinny if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue she would look like a zipper".....

On tight pants:

"I bet she had to get up on a building and jump into those pants to get them on"....

LockDoc

[kingsolver72]

“Uglier than 40 miles of muddy road”
“ he’s so bucktooth he could eat squash through a picket fence”

Some old says are down right mean… some I won’t repeat. Probably best to forget them.

[89AKurt]

Dad's friend would always say after a good dinner together: "That ruined a perfectly good appetite." I like to watch waiter/waitress reaction as I say it.
Sad to see so many people nowadays, where if dynamite were brains, they couldn't light a match.
My pickup qualifies as "a bucket of bolts" or "rust bucket".

[KW5413]

He was a day late and a dollar short.

If you're waiting on me...you're rolling backwards.

[Clatterville trolley]

Been feeling a little down now that the weather has turned colder and made me think of one I hadn't thought of in a while:

"Feeling so low I have to reach up to tie my shoes!"

[KW5413]

My Step-Mother, RIP, had 7 kids in 9 years. If she heard one of them say "S#%T", she would tell the them "You got something in your mouth I wouldn't have in my hands".

Ironically, she could cuss like a drunk sailor at the drop of a hat. And she was quicker than a New York Minute with it. She was so damned mean she could make a clock run backwards. She would chase after those kids like a Jack Rabbit jumping from hole to hole. When she caught them she would whoop them clear into next week and they would squeal like a stuck pig.

One kid was so awkward he couldn't pull his head out of his butt with both hands and another was so directionally challenged, he couldn't find his way out of his butt with a flashlight and road map.

True story...

[Clatterville trolley]

My mother would respond to me when I said, "I thought this or that."

"You know what thought did don't you? Thought sh*t in the middle of the road because he thought he was somewhere else!"

[special-K]

They come to mind at times when they fit.

I just finally thought of a favorite, "treated like a rented mule"

[leddzepp]

Like a baby treats a diaper

[KW5413]

My poor 'ol Grandpappy would say..."Friends come and go dependent on the place and time. You can count your true friends, over a lifetime, with the fingers on one hand. So cherish them all. You never know which ones are going to turn out to be one of them".

[72supr]

Drunker than a peach orchard boar.
I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
If she had as much… I best not say that un.

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by KW5413

My poor 'ol Grandpappy would say..."Friends come and go dependent on the place and time. You can count your true friends, over a lifetime, with the fingers on one hand. So cherish them all. You never know which ones are going to turn out to be one of them".

I learned about "true" friends a couple years ago. True friends are more rare than most people think!

[kingsolver72]

“Measure twice, cut once”

That old saying reminds me,.. the factory that manufactures yardsticks won’t be making them any longer.

[special-K]

Originally Posted by kingsolver72

“Measure twice, cut once”

That old saying reminds me,.. the factory that manufactures yardsticks won’t be making them any longer.

It's getting hard to not let the changes get to me. Yardsticks? Not even metersticks? The Great Frederick Fair used to give those out, as did many businesses. A yard is a yard still, right?

Has anyone even brought up "six of one, half a dozen the other"?

[va72longhorn]

“We ain’t building no church “ ( when the angle cut don’t quite match up)
“ can’t see it from my house” ( when something is half-a**ed”
Ahhhh... another one! “Half-a**ed”